Doing Grief Yoga (We Don’t Have to Call it Yoga)
We know words are powerful. Words can serve as potent weapons or as our greatest comfort. But sometimes words are not enough. In the case of grief or trauma, sometimes, there are no words to comfort or to express how we feel. As Bessel Van der Kolk wrote in Body Keeps the Score, trauma and grief often disconnect us from our physical bodies. The human body holds painful experiences, our physical and emotional traumas, our injuries and scars, at a cellular level. Traumatic experiences and significant losses dysregulate the nervous system, often resulting in challenging emotions—anxiety, anger, depression—as well as numbness or dissociation. Mindful movements as yoga, tai chi and qi gong help us gently re-connect with our physical sensations. This somatic reconnection is essential for healing from painful past learning and significant adverse events. Here are some links to learning such movements which I have personally found helpful if not essential in my own personal and professional practices:
易筋經 · Yi Jin Jing (Muscle Tendon Change Classic) Qi Gong
八段锦 · Ba Duan Jin (8 Brocade Exercise) Qi Gong
10 Min Somatic Practice to Release Grief
Emotional Regulation: Eastern Wisdom for Modern Times
In order to master or control our emotions we must learn first to recognize and second to de-activate our triggers. In Dialectical Behavior Therapy this concept is described as emotional regulation in which we practice integrating one’s Emotional Mind and one’s Rational Mind with the more balanced, detached and objective Wise Mind. In ancient Eastern traditions such as Buddhism this idea is known as finding and following the Middle Path. Those individuals who display patterns of frequently flying off the handle out of proportion with the situation at hand or consistently “crashing out” over relatively mundane circumstances sadly find themselves far off the Middle Path. These common patterns of behavior are also red flags for unresolved painful past learnings, unhealed post-traumatic stress and/or disorganized relationship attachment styles. So, what is the remedy?
Legendary Japanese samurai and Eastern philosopher Miyamoto Musashi considered human emotions as not just mere feelings but as powerful forces that when harnessed effectively could lead to profound wisdom and self-awareness. In his writings Musashi compared emotions to the weather hovering over a battlefield: unpredictable, ever-changing and capable of influencing the outcome of any conflict. The legendary warrior learned from personal experience and countless battles that the key to victory was maintaining a calm mind and composed demeanor. The true enemy, according to Musashi, is not your opponent, but your own untamed emotions.
A key precept to trauma therapy long since proven by scientific research, when we maintain a calm and relaxed body and mind, it is impossible to feel stress, anxiety, fear or any so-called negative emotion. This process all starts with noticing and harnessing the power of the breath. Through additional mindfulness practices such as body awareness, conscious self-regulation, consistent relaxation, self-care and meditation, soon all of the pieces come together, creating a new vision of clarity, peace, self-discipline and greater self-awareness. Still skeptical? Just ask yourself when is the last time I have had a true professional massage? When is the last time I have if ever tried to quiet the infernal Monkey Mind? . . .
To dive deeper into Dokkodo, Musashi’s 21 Principles, access this video: 21 Principles of the Dokkodo: Miyamoto Musashi’s Way of Walking Alone.